What you can’t say owns you. What you hide controls you. 

You may recall a few months ago I posted about having a horrible anxiety attack at the hair salon and having to run out with wet hair. My stylist realized I was having an attack because I got super fidgety and as a result I was embarassed, ashamed and all around dissapointed. 

It had been 2 months since my last hair appointment. I was putting it off because I had a little PTSD from the situation. I didn’t want to feel that way in public again. I didn’t want to have to tell my stylist and friend that I had a panic attack. But the reality was I had 2 inches of roots and bushy eyebrows. I’ve been going to her since 2008. I love the way she does my hair. We’ve become friends. I couldn’t leave her.

I texted her a few days before my appointment to break the ice. I could tell that she was put off when I left the first time – she didn’t know I had anxiety and she probably thought she did something wrong. I was honest with her about what I was going through and joked around about how awesome it would be if she could do my hair in a private room. Her reply? “I can!” 

All the anxiety I had over this appointment for the past 2 months started to slowly melt away. I replied, “are you serious?” And she replied “absolutely!”. Needless to say, when I got there yesterday I was greeted with a smile and she took me into this room: 

I didn’t need to leave for my foils to process. I didn’t need to leave to get shampooed. It. was. awesome.

When I left I gave her a hug and thanked her (like I always do) and when I got in my car I started to cry. I had some anxiety but it wasn’t debilitating. I told her I had a mental illness and she not only didn’t judge me, but accommodated me.

I spend so much time and stress myself out so much about hiding my anxiety that when I don’t have to do it in a situation where I normally would it’s such a relief. I’m so grateful and lucky that she does my hair and the salon that she works at has this room. 

She kept saying “stop thanking me it’s really not a big deal!”. But what people don’t realize is that in a world full of stigmas it is a big deal. And I am very appreciative.

She will never see this but from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! 😌


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