Just breathe

Went to a funeral service today for a friend’s ex wife who passed away due to health complications. I was anxious about going but I’m really glad that I did. I feel good about being able to support a friend during this difficult time. 

Having anxiety is hard, but it’s even harder when you’re in a situation that gives people that haven’t been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder anxiety. We feel the anxious feelings double what the average person does.

I was anxious today for a few reasons:

1. I was going to a funeral and all I could think about was the absolute worst thing that could happen there: I have a panic attack in front of everyone, pass out and take the attention away from the real reason we were there.

2. I have a hard time showing emotion and based on the circumstances in this situation I was bound to shed a few tears. It was also appropriate that I give my condolences to the family and I’m  socially awkward.

3. It was a catholic service. I didn’t grow up in church. I know none of the prayers, none of the songs nor am I too familiar with church ediquette. I just follow what everyone else is doing and hope that I don’t look like an idiot and stand out. 

4. I didn’t take the day off of work so I was being conscious of the time. Not that my boss cares how long I’m gone for, but I choose to stress myself out over it.

5. My sinuses have been bothering me and I’ve been getting dizzy spells.

In the end everything was fine. Sure I was anxious and sweating profusely but I made it through and I feel good about going. If I didn’t push myself out of my comfort zone I would have regrets. If I had regrets I would be angrier about my anxiety. If I was angrier about my anxiety I would be more depressed.  In the end, nothing negative can really come from pushing yourself. Even if things don’t go your way, you’ll survive. Easier said than done trust me but sometimes it makes getting through a situation easier. 

  

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