Anxious thoughts of the night…

I hate the insomnia that anxiety gives me. HATE. I’m exhausted. 

I’ve been off of work for the past week. It’s been great. Went to visit my parents out of state, finished up a few house projects and relaxed a little. Overall, my anxiety has been down and I’ve been happy.

Until last night…

My cat was batting around a huge spider in my livingroom. When I turned on the light and went over to see what she was doing the spider was legit fighting back. Fangs or legs up and all! I killed the crap out of that thing. Then my cat started acting weird. I couldn’t tell if maybe it bit her or she was just scoping out the scene to make sure it was a loner? Either way, she seems ok now but all I can think about is where more may be in my house. I am a crazy exterminator and normally only see a dead body in the basenent every now and then. When the world wakes up I will be getting new spider killer and going to town on my house for a piece of mind…

So I go back to work on Monday. I made the mistake of checking my work emails. I had almost 300 unread that I managed to whittle down to 153 action items. Why I decided to do that on a Saturday night is beyond me. I ruined my Saturday night – no fun and no sleep. It is now Sunday morning and I’m lying here wide awake. Can’t wait to see what tonight brings….😰

Every once in a while it smells like natural gas in our house, particularly the stove/oven and our dryer. My husband checked all gas connections and everything is sealed properly. He is suspecting that maybe it’s just a bad batch of gas? Regardless, I need to call the gas company and have them come out and look at it. Until then, of course I happen to put on a top before bed last night that came out of the dryer with a faint smell of gas. Which has proceeded to keep me up thinking about how my house is going to probably blow up at any minute every time I get a whiff of it. 

Bottom line: I’m sure that was a lone spider and my house isn’t infested. I will get through my first week back in the office. It won’t be easy but I will survive. We’ve had this interminent gas problem for about 4 months now and the house has not blown up. Waiting another day to call the gas company should be fine.

But you can’t tell me any of that because I don’t think rationally at times like this. I know the reality, but my mind takes everything to another level.

So I’m going to spend another hour on Pinterest. By then the sun may start to come up unless it will be another gloomy day. I will see my husband off to the home opener football game this morning for a day of tailgating and fun with his buddies (I would die there). Then I will make my taco dip, shower and head over to my sister’s to watch the game and hang out with my new yellow lab puppy nephew. And prob start passing out at 3pm due to last night’s insomnia. 

Hoping tonight will be better. 😊



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