I’m back from my visit with my parents in Atlanta. I did it. I flew there and back, and spent 4 days away from the safety of my home out of my comfort zone by myself. To be honest, it was hard, but it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
I’ve been off of my anxiety/depression medications for about 2 months now. If you would have asked me 6 months ago if I would’ve been able to do what I just did unmedicated I would’ve told you hell no. But I did. I have an appointment with my doctor at the end of the month to discuss medication but it was important to me to do this first. I needed to know whether I had the strength to do it without medication. I needed to know that I can accomplish anything if I am determined enough. I needed to know that my anxiety does not define who I am or what I do, no matter how hard it is.
Anxiety and depression will always be there, regardless of whether I’m on medication for it or not. Looks like I have a decision to make.
Not only was I out of my comfort zone for a few days, but I still managed to have a good time. Sometimes it’s nice to get away alone. It helps put everything into perspective. I had good conversation with my parents, who are still learning about my anxiety. It’s hard to know what someone is going through when you are not seeing them suffer. Especially if your anxiety hasn’t always been extreme. Their memories of me are a different me than I am today. I don’t ask anyone to understand my anxiety, but I do expect you to respect me if I say that something is giving me anxiety.
My parents think that I act like my husband is the only one that understands me. He hasn’t always understood my anxiety, but he has educated himself on it and he does not make me feel guilty for having it. It’s not something that I can just stop. It doesn’t just go away. Trust me – I don’t want to feel this way!!
I took off of work for the rest of the week and I’m so glad I did. I’m decorating my house for fall and just doing things that make me happy.