The struggle you’re facing today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.

It’s been 9 days today since I’ve taken my anxiety/depression medication. I’m exhausted, lethargic, have a delayed reaction, feel a little spacy, getting bad headaches and experiencing some interminent dizziness. My anxiety attacks are different now. I feel more like I’m going to pass out now whereas before I felt like I was choking or my throat was closing. I don’t know what is worse. I finally saw a therapist. I’m skeptical that therapists are helpful for anxiety. I’ve seen a therapist before for marital issues and she worked miracles on us, but those were issues that could be fixed. Can anxiety be fixed by talking to someone? Can talking to someone change the chemical process in your brain that causes the anxiety for reasons you are unsure of? I honestly don’t know. I’m going to continue to go at least a few more sessions and see what comes from it. I don’t want to waste time or money being uncomfortable (I don’t like talking about my feelings) if it’s not going to help. I’m going in with an open mind though.

I guess there is never really a good time to go off a medication. Of course the next few weeks are going to be busy and I somehow need to find the strength to get through it. It sucks how the most simple tasks can be the most daunting for someone with anxiety. Over the past few years I’ve learned more about my grandfather’s struggle with anxiety. He never spoke about it (to me atleast) but my grandmother has been forthcoming with details about his struggle. I wish he was alive so I could pick his brain about how he used to live with it and still manage to live a great life (on the outside atleast). They say it could be hereditary. 

Lastly, I’ve gained many new followers over the past few weeks. Thank you! When I started blogging I vowed to be as open and honest about what I go through as possible in hopes that other people struggling with generalized anxiety disorder, agoraphobia and depression will know that they are not alone. When I am having a rough day I know it helps me to read your blogs. Together hopefully we can raise more awareness around these disorders and tear down the stigma that comes with mental illness. 

  

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