Storms don’t last forever.

I’ve had a constant anxiety attack for 3 days now. I can’t handle feeling this way anymore. It’s like my body is trying to kill me. I’m dizzy. I feel like I’m being choked because my throat is closing. I can’t breathe. My heart is pounding out of my chest. My stomach is in knots. My senses are hyper sensitive. I’m sweating. I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin. When it’s happening there is literally nothing worse. You feel like you’re going to die. When it’s this bad, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make it stop. I go through this every few months where my anxiety is off the charts for a few days. It’s debilitating. I can’t go to work. I can’t leave the house. I can’t eat. I can’t think straight. I become severely depressed. I can only hope that when I wake up tomorrow my anxiety is at a functional level. I can only hope that I will have the strength to persevere through this. Times like this I just want to give up. People who have anxiety are so strong. Can you imagine your body and mind in a constant state of panic and fear for 3 days straight? It’s one of the hardest things to live with. When I hear stories of people struggling with anxiety and depression committing suicide, I can honestly say I understand it. I would never do it, but I understand it. When you’re going through an anxiety attack there is no light at the end if the tunnel. Your body and mind tell you that your life is being threatened. I believe that my anxiety will kill me years from now when I’m at the point my body is no longer able to handle the stress my mind puts it under. Until then, I need to remain a fighter. Nothing lasts forever, right? I refuse to let this get the best of me. I can’t. On a lighter note, tomorrow is my anniversary. I don’t know what I would do without my rock. I give him props for staying by my side all these years. I’m not sure I could put up with me but he sure does a great job. 

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