Mahalo

Our time in Hawaii has come to an end. I love it here so much. Of course this means I’ve been up all night stressing about the flight home. Most of the time we were here the weather was either warm and wet or chilly and sunny. Nevertheless, we still had a great time and saw things we wouldn’t have seen had the weather been nice and we hung out more at the resort. Maui is great but I think I enjoyed Kauai more. Less commercialized and untouched. I felt more at peace there. One of the sunny but chilly days we decided to check out the “road to Hana” on Maui where most of the sights are. Ha. About 3 hours later, over 600 turns, over 50 single lane bridges and most of the time a single lane road with 2 lane traffic, some unpaved, we survived. Carsick and anxious that ruined the remainder of the day for me but it was so worth it. The views were stunning from those cliffs and we got to see the Seven Sacred Pools! Unfortunately the water levels were low so we couldn’t swim but still awesome. A low point was us getting yelled at by a local coming from the other direction on the one lane who decided to ignore his “yield to oncoming traffic sign”…but apparently that was our fault. I’m just glad our rental car will be returned today with no guard rail scrapes and with the side mirrors in tact (we had to fold them in a few times). After we returned I found out that our rental contract prohibited us from driving on a certain portion of that road. Woops. Who knew you could off road in a Hyundai Elantra? That car is a champ! I’m glad I gave myself a couple days at home to adjust before going back to work. With my anxiety, the time change and the stuff I need to do to get the house back in order I feel like I’ll need a vacation from this vacation! I have so much I could say about this vacation but this blog isn’t about traveling; it’s about the struggle with anxiety and the struggle was real on the 50 minute flight from Kauai to Maui. I decided not to take the motion sickness drugs that made me drowsy or a Xanax because I didn’t want to be useless the rest of the day. As much as I feared this I didn’t do it with some encouraging from husband. I had a panic attack from the moment I sat down on the plane to the moment I got off of the plane. Sweating, shaking, dry mouth, tight throat, stomach pain, dizzy, couldn’t breathe. That was only a 50 minute flight and I wasn’t going home, I was still in paradise! When we landed my husband told me how great of a job I did as I fought back tears. If he only knew how hard that was for me on the inside. Now in a few hours I’ll be enduring 12 hours of flying and 15 hours of traveling with nothing to look forward to but seeing my kitties (yes I am an old cat lady, judge all you want). That is going to make it harder. I will be taking drowsy meds for these flights. I will still be anxious but not like I would be without them. If I’m lucky maybe I’ll sleep since I’ve been up all night and I’m about to be 6 hours ahead at home. Here goes nothing…

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